My sense of family has changed so much in the last 3 years, ever since my Dad died. I've have come to realize even more, how much of a family, my family is not. All my life, both sides of my family differed greatly.
As for my dad's family, we saw them on holidays, for the Manayunk bike race and when any of us kids made a sacrament or graduation. That was it. But of all the memories i have with my extended family from both sides, the memories w/ my dad's family are the most vivid to me. I can't tell you about so many different visits with them in detail.
When it comes to my mom's family, first of all, it was much larger. My mom is the oldest of 5 children where as with my Dad, He only had 1 sibling, my aunt. With my mom's family, we got together for everything. At least once a month to celebrate those birthdays' whose occurred that month. In addition, if one of those people was a child, they had their own separate party. We saw each other every religious holiday as well as a few others. We did family trips to Strasburg Railroad every year as well as a few others. But all in all, i don't have very specific memories about those times together. Things in that family have not changed much in 32 years except that not everyone comes to all the functions, especially non-blood relatives. if it were me, I'd probably not want to either. Oh, and I've realized everything is a firckin' secret, gah. These get togehters have also come increasingly difficult for me ever since I've made my separation from Catholicism as well as my support for the Republican party.
But honestly, it doesn't bother me that my beliefs are drastically different now. What bothers me is the nonacceptance of my choices. They still try to impose their beliefs on me and i definitely don't feel like they see me as a person who has made an educated decision about my personal beliefs. Oh, and if my child dies for some reason, no heaven for her, just limbo...pfft! ok grandmom, whatev's. And then you'll hear me say, I might just get her baptized to appease them. How screwed up is that?
The weirdest thing of all to me is the relationship between my mother and my dad's mom and sister. Since my dad died in July of '08, i think my Mom has seen then a half a dozen times at most. It was like once my dad died, there was nothing keeping them as family. Yes, they're not blood relatives but I didn't fathom it was so bad that once my dad dies she was done with them. There are so many possible variable that I don't know about. Maybe they never got along, maybe they never liked each other, or maybe my Mom decided that she wasn't going to out up with my Aunt Roe anymore. My Dad and his sister were two peas in a pod. They were so similar, in almost every way. And they're both miserable people who complain about anything and everything. So, who knows. Though, I do know that I am not doing the bast job at keeping in touch with them wither. I feel bad about that, i really do. Especially now since I'm probably going to lose my grandmother before the year is out.
My next post will most certainly be about the relationship my siblings and i have. that'll be interesting for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment